The ZZZping Buddha

I Will Not Hurt Myself Again

2012-01-04T01:53:00.000+08:00

I promise I will not hurt myself again. I will not bump my head on the wall, as it really hurts and the bump stays on for days. I will not punch the wall or any similar things with my hands/fists again, as I fractured my hands doing so and it really sucks to be handicapped even if temporary. I will not self mutilate myself.

I treasure myself, and I treasure my life. I will not harm myself in anyway for anyone as no one is worth for me to do that. Never ever.

Depressible Me

2011-12-16T00:16:00.001+08:00

They say people tend to write diaries and the such when they are in a bad mood, feeling low or depressed. How true that is.

It's been a year and counting to two soon since my last post about new year resolutions in 2010. How these 2 years have passed and the more depressed I get.

My counsellor advised me to continue writing out my feelings as it would help in alleviating my condition. Is that true? Yes, writing it out gives me a chance and a medium to express my emotions, an opportunity that is found wanting in my life now. I no longer talk to my friends about how I feel and about the emotional turbulence I go through. I feel that they have enough of their own to go by, or if not, most of them do not provide valuable advice that I can rely on.

Maybe if I'm still alive and I happen to read through my blogposts one day, will all these negative emotions come back to flood me away into the pulling sea of depression?

I write today, because I feel that I have been suppressed. Suppressed by the woman I think I love and should love for the rest of my life. Why do i have to return home everyday to someone who expresses her discontent and anger on me? Is this home at all? Is this love at all?

I have been enduring her tantrums for the past 4 days. I flared up today and said she was a 'niao ren'. Tame in the vocabulary of obscenities, but effective in its own glory.

Maybe one day, when all the stars align, the tables will turn and the tides will change. I will, however, show more humanity than she has shown to me.

Buddha, bless me. Amitabha.

Into New Horizons!

2010-01-08T01:29:00.003+08:00

A new year beckons a new me!

I have been languishing in a quagmire of stagnation for a long period of time now and I can't remember the last time I was proud of myself. My greatest failings have got to be procrastination and indiscipline. It's time to break out.

Firstly, my resolutions for 2010:
1) Quit smoking entirely. Not even social smoking.
- it's tough but I can do it.

2) Cut down on pubbing. Once a week the most.
- this means not visiting Beerhouse or any other place where i can place my hands on alcohol frequently. I may have to relax and de-stress but pubbing is not the only avenue for that now. gotta add that each visit should not see me drinking more than a jug or spending more than 20 bucks.

3) Exercise more. exercising will be my preferred option to destress.
- 30 mins at least for a session, 3 times a week not including Sunday soccer.
- having physical fitness will contribute to having a healthy body and agile mind. Not to mention a taut body will score me well with Dear Dear in the intimacy department.

4) Do well for my studies.
- No more MCs for classes. No more late submissions. Gonna do all my tutorials and readings. Gonna score As!

5) Sleep early rise early.
- Rise and shine at 8 in the morning, latest.
- Sleep at 1 a.m. latest.

6) Spend less save more. To do what a man has gotta do (I know, Buddha knows)
- I will only spend $100 a week, inclusive of petrol and makan dan minuman.
- Cashcard and carpark spending not included.
- Weekend spending with Dear not included though it will have to be frugal too.

I pledge to accomplish the above barring all failures, braving all obstacles, resisting all temptations, accepting no sub-standards, so Buddha help me!

Buddha, bless me with your divine assistance in realizing my resolutions.

Yes i realize it's past 1 already. It starts after this post k.

Quitting smoking

2010-01-08T01:09:00.006+08:00

Junming called me yesterday to break some news to me. I was caught by surprise when he said he had a stroke. I was very concerned and went to see him immediately. But it wasn't at the hospital. It was at his place. I thought to myself "Why isn't he in the hospital if he had a stroke?" My questions were answered when i realised it was a minor stroke.

Well I could tell that he was very worried. He even agreed to my suggestion of getting an insurance policy right away. Recommended him to Ian. Junming even said he will want to quit smoking at first, then changed his mind to smoke less. He just won't learn!

Met him today to go JB together. When we met, he told me he had just seen his family doctor and his condition was diagnosed as nerve malfunction. I guess he was quite relieved like I was too. However, This guy then disappointed me when he bought a pack of 14 sticks and finished it later in the day. Incorrigible.

Is it so hard to quit smoking? I have stopped for a week now so far and i have to say sometimes i still have the urge to do social smoking. I guess there has got to be a lot of determination. I'm not addicted to nicotine and there are no withdrawal symptoms as yet. Do people really have nicotine addiction or the addiction to having a stick between your fingers? Well for me, it's the addiction of the hot air going down the windpipe. TO this, I use drinking hot soup as my rehabilitation.

Personally, peer pressure/accompaniment is a major factor in picking up or kicking the habit. When most of your friends smoke, you have company. You tend to wanna smoke. But can't the good influence the bad? The Good has gotta have a lot of determination. Currently, I have tried to help Taiming to kick the habit and i really hope he does. I shall see the next time I meet him.

Buddha, bless me with your divine assistance in quitting smoking!

Sorry

2009-07-22T00:38:00.001+08:00

I will let you go now not because I don’t love you or care about this. It is because I deserve this punishment. Sorry seems to be the hardest word, but I have used it too frequently. Maybe it is good that you leave tonight and I shall wake up from my foolishness.

Extreme apologies for incruciating pain inflicted

2009-05-25T01:43:00.002+08:00

I was a jerk yesterday on my anniversary with my GF. I called her something that wasn't what she is at all. I guess no matter how i apologise...it will not wash away the pain, damage and guilt that I feel. No matter what, I'm sorry again dear. I love you...forever and ever.

Facebook Bragger

2009-03-03T01:31:00.002+08:00

There are so many people on facebook now because of its user-friendly interface and interactive applications. Not only do these things make facebook the leading social networking site, it is also because of the many 'interesting' people who use this channel to brag about their 'achievements'.

This one takes the cake.

Ok so now she is in S’pore.

Wow…she teleports.

Hint: Any Hongkie Gu Wat Zai interested?

Even dear old Cleopatra is not spared.

Maybe you should…and then shave it bald after that.

She buys and sells. No one does business like her. Fickle-mindedly.

No taste…Liverpool!?…and the one who flopped and returned to Spurs almost instantaneously. At least Keane was smart enough to run away.

For a moment I thought there was a spelling mistake. Bitchies, Ouch!

Let’s hear what she says when she is out of SIA and the only place she’ll visit is Hougang Chalet.

Frustration and helplessness

2009-02-20T01:27:00.002+08:00

I get this feeling constantly recently.

While I drive. As i sit in the toilet. When I do my work.

Feelings of frustration and helplessness. Premonition of losing some things I cherish dearly.

To an extent, I self-mutilate. Occasionally, i drop tears unknowingly. What is wrong with me?

taken from http://candidmusing.files.wordpress.com/2008/08/insanity.jpg

Roy's Rendition of 说好的幸福呢

2009-02-09T01:26:00.002+08:00

My dear friend did an impromtu (that's what he said) recording of himself playing his current favourite song 说好的幸福呢 by Jay Chou. Not bad I should say.

Maybe I should go learn how to play the keyboard too... lol.

Enjoy!

My wrong my bad...reflecting on you.

2009-01-28T16:34:00.003+08:00

I know that I'm in the wrong when:

I stay out late and am not in bed by 1 a.m. There's a need for me to RSP in order for my condition to get better;

I go drinking with my friends too often. Too much alcohol is bad for the system and these sessions usually end late.

Hence, I've promised myself and my guardian angel that I'll change for the better, But not everyone is an angel. There's no clear black or white in this world. I need time and space! I need these precious items to accomplish what I've promised.

There is no point in constant nagging
as it is rather irritating.

Give me time to prove my best,
so that I won't risk your behest.

I love freedom I love me,
as much as "lao shu ai da mi".

But I'm willing to compromise on that abit,
if it does wonders to our relationship.

What about you my darling angel?
Are you gonna do the same, hell?

How do I carry on?

2009-01-28T15:42:00.003+08:00

I've walked with you through all weathers,
never felt any reluctance however cold.
But life has to take a turn,
and in the confusion,
I lost your presence.

I don't wanna not awake and miss your tidings,
bearing the pain I breathe deeply.
You said you'll bring me to the eternity that's promised,
braving the wind and rain in my heart while missing you, I move on.

Oh~Love, how do i carry on?
Alone, i climb the mountains and cross the seas,
just because you were good to me.
This love is unprecedented.

Oh~Love, how can't you know?
I don't know who has told me, loved me,
removed my burdens.
The curse of your gentle smile.

no~waiting for your return
to kiss me oh~deeply
thinking of you however much I'll never be lonely.
My pain, my tears, i take it for granted,
just for you to say you know, that's enough~oh!

A New Beginning

2009-01-13T17:09:00.003+08:00

Finally, a laptop for me.
never will I be lagging away.
Hang around and you will see,
that new posts will come a-sway,
and fill up the void that has been around,
for days and weeks too much.

Finally, I won't have to implore,
my dear old brother who so often ignores
my pleas to use his dear old PC.
"Hey bro, here's my lappy you see!"

Har har har!

2008-11-14T20:56:00.002+08:00

There is this song that I like very much and it was introduced to me during a K session by my girlfriend-to-be many years ago.

It sorta summed up my feelings for her when she constantly rejected me. But that was the past.

Then i saw this video on youtube where this Singaporean, Huang Jinglun, was doing his rendition of this song. I must say he is very good. I have tried for so long to sing this song well but have not succeeded so kudos to Huang.

Decided to put it up here so I can enjoy it for long time to come.

What's up with this people?

2008-11-14T20:05:00.004+08:00

I was scouring through the blogs of some people i know, know not too well, and don't know at all.

All was good, talking about their lives, their hopes, their feelings and emotions.

But the one thing i hate about some of these blogs were that they were narcissistic in nature.

You have girls who are not that pretty saying that the blog belongs to a pretty girl, let's make it lagi worse, to a pretty princess.

Guy blogs who talk about their anatomy being 'huge' and 'thick' but the only thing i think is 'thick' is that they are thick in the head.

You have drivers who say they drive a damn good car, wanna drive a damn good car, or will drive a damn good car, when the closest thing they can get to that is in their dreams.

Like me, i dream of anything in my dreams, but do you see me telling people my dreams are reality?

Gosh. People. Get. A. Mirror.

Nightmare: 14 November 2008

2008-11-14T19:07:00.008+08:00

Rampage of the Killer Bugs

I walked to the stadium with my friends. We intended to engage in a game of football after our exams. The sun was scorching hot with sparse clouds trying their best to shade us from the merciless rays of the sun.

A sound like that of marching was heard coming from a distance. There he was, standing out from the rest like a sore thumb, with his shiny pate devoid of hair reflecting the sunlight like a glaring mirror. Ass, here comes the irritating discipline master. “Why are you guys here? Aren’t you supposed to go home to study?” he shouted, the noise ringing in our ears.

“Can’t we relax for awhile?” I answered nonchalantly.

“What is this doing here?” The Ass asked, referring to a box of discarded chocolates on the steps of the grandstand. Surprisingly, we have seen that box there for weeks whenever we came here to play footie. No one knew how it got there and why it was still there. It was already discoloured from the constant exposure to the sun and rain. It gave off a foul smell too. “Take it and throw it away!” The Ass demanded, and he kicked the box in our direction.

Thud. The box landed away from us in the wrong direction. I had to stifle a chortle at that lousy kick. The Ass can’t kick for nuts.

“Argh!” Nicholas sounded as he saw bugs scrambling out of the disturbed box. I turned and looked in the direction of the box and I was surprised to see bugs streaming out of the box endlessly. How could a small box of empty chocolates hide so many bugs in them?

A tirade of black, foul-smelling bugs streamed out of the box and in a moment, covered the instant area around the box with a black moving mass. We stood there shell-shocked as the bugs made their way towards The Ass. He tried to stomp those that were reaching him, but it was a futile attempt as his feet could not kill as fast as the bugs were coming out of the box and scuttling towards him. He frailed his arms in panic as the bugs scampered up his feet and onto his body. Soon, his body was covered with the black mass.

“WTF!” I shouted, “Let’s get a move on before they come to us!” I pulled Nicholas’s hand and tugged him to run with me. The bugs were now making a line towards us. It wasn’t funny but rather horrifying as we saw The Ass collapsing onto the floor.

We decided to get to my car as soon as possible and make an escape. As I looked around, I could see the bugs now streaming in all direction and towards the canteen where the majority of the student body was. One of my friend reached the car first and took the driver’s seat as the rest of us jumped into the seats. We managed to close the door and accelerated as the black mass was hot on our heels. The sound of screeching rubber was accompanied by the crunching of the bugs at the wheels. The sound was bone-chilling.

Goodness. Without any idea how, the bugs had moved in front of us and occupied the gateway out of the school. A gigantic bug was standing at the gateway terrorizing the few who had managed to get out of the canteen but was now staring death in the face.

“Get a move on man!” I shouted to Alvin who was at the wheel. “Take the other exit!” I pointed to the pedestrians door at the side.

“But we’ll crash!” screamed Alvin.

“Or you wanna die? Just drive through the door, it’s big enough for the car to get through!” I ordered Alvin.

Alvin slammed on the accelerator and the car skimmed right out of the door with centimetres to spare.

“Hey turn on the air-con man, it’s hot in here,” said Nicholas.

“Freaking idiot” I thought, just thinking about comfort when all everyone was thinking of just now was how to get out of the massacre. I turned around and looked at the campus. I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw the last inch of the flag pole at the roof got covered by bugs. The whole campus was now engulfed in the black moving mass. How much longer before everything else?

Busy period

2008-11-08T16:39:00.002+08:00

Recently, I have been so busy with assignments and exams that I have not been sleeping well and enough. But still, it doesn't stop me from having dreams.

The things preventing me from sharing my dreams are that I don't have the time to write or that my dreams are so haphazard that I don't know how to write them out.

Gosh.

Sometimes my dreams are so porno in nature that I think it will be too grotesque to put them up here. Maybe I should put up a disclaimer stating that only 18 yr olds and older can view the blog. Then i get ppl to verify using their credit-card number, then maybe can earn some money. Whahaha!

Imposing ideals and expectations

2008-10-29T05:02:00.003+08:00

Human beings have the tendency to impose their ideals and expectations on people around them. And I'm feeling the brunt of it all. These people expect and even to the extent of demand me to do things that I do not feel like, do not want to, or simply cannot do.

Run an errand, visit, call, message, accompany, sleep, talk, bath, eat, buy, agree, disagree, comment, read, laugh, cry, whatever...the list goes on.

It is not wrong to expect, but do not demand. I will do it if I can and want, and please do not get agitated if I were to refuse. In any way, I always refuse politely.

Do not do unto others, what you do not wish others to do unto you.

Peace to all.

Nightmare: Zombies

2008-10-26T16:29:00.015+08:00

It seems like I have a thing for zombies ever since i read this book called World War Z by Max Brooks. World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War (abbreviated WWZ) is a novel by Max Brooks which chronicles a fictional zombie apocalypse, specifically the titular "Zombie World War", as a series of after-the-fact oral history interviews with prominent survivors.

It is thus no wonder that I'll will one day dream of zombies...

The country was overrun in a matter of days. What we thought to be Total Defence turned out to be Total Washout. The government had left us for good, which was expected the day the Chief Minister gave an address to the public that everything was well. He had said the armed forces and local police will be able to protect the country if the outbreak was to turn widespread. He told us to have faith. Screw him. The next day, news was heard that the Cabinet had left on a high-security plane to Tekan Isle, an offshore island previously used as a military training base. The excuse was that the island will serve as an effective and protected central command. Bloody politicians. They were more of a bloodsucker than the zombs.

My bro and I got hold of an abandoned trawler. It was always easy to get any vehicle we want since the Outbreak. It was either the previous owner was dead or a was now a Zomb. And Zombs don't drive. Owing to my bro's previous job as a mechanic, he was always bale to ignite a vehicle's engine even without the key.

The mission today was to look for survivors, and if any, to get them out of the shithole they arein. Recent radio emissions were heard over the airwaves, calling for help. We managed to intercept the signals and triangulated the location of the survivors. Once a clubbing haven for youngsters, the hippies and the wannabes, this drinking hole has now deteriorated into a dilapidated mess that I could not even recognize. The facade of this once-proud establishment, the place where I revelled throughout Wednesday nights a decade ago,is now covered with blood, broken neon lights, damaged structures hanging precariously over the entrance.

As the vibrations of our truck's engine reverberated in the stale midnight air, we saw the hungry faces of the zombs turn in our direction. We steadied ourselves for the impending massacre. I said a prayer and asked for forgiveness from Buddha. It was bad karma to kill, but was it bad karma to kill the already dead?

Bro turned on the huge headlamps of the truck and it illuminated the way before us. Damn it. There were more zombs than was expected. Maybe it was not a bright idea to switch the lights on. I don't see any reflection from the zombs eye. like how a human eye reflects light, as the pupils of zombs are totally dilated. "Let's get started," I thought to myself, and like telepathy, Bro seem to know my intentions and pressed down hard on the accelerator.

Once a wo-wo shooter when I was in the army, i had learnt how to be more accurate and precise in my shooting. Nothing beats real 'practice'. When you have a zomb as a target board, instinctively, you get more motivation and adrenaline to become a sharp-shooter. Bro had also turned into a much steadier driver, if you consider recklessness as a virtue. The idea now was not to avoid collision with a pedestrian, but to actually knock down as many as possible. We make a good team, him swerving and colliding, I shooting the brains out of those zombs.

I was shooting hard and fast as the truck moved and swerved around in the carpark of Zous. My brother had managed to establish a regular circumvention in the carpark. This made it easier for me to aim and blast the brains of those zombs. Blood, brains and bones were minced up on the asphalt floor, constantly adding more meat to the mix as the truck moved like a giant blender on overdrive. I was starting to get dizzy when I felt a bony grip on my shoulder. The stench that came was overpowering and nauseating. I turned around and right away unloaded two rounds into the f*cker's mouth. That's when i heard the sound of my mobile phone ringing away.

The alarm rang. Time to wake up.

Dream: No Dream

2008-10-24T08:08:00.008+08:00

I sat at the computer table, furiously typing away on the keyboard.

Writing my assignment seemed to take forever. I needed a respite from all of this.

Hence, I talked to Alvin on the MSN. One MAJOR SERIOUS typo error from him stunned me. As he was watching TV while messaging, he accidentally typed 'i' instead of 'u' and totally changed the subject (head noun) of the sentence:
"She nver screw you then i screw her la" took the place of "She nver screw you then u screw her la". (Pardon the vugarities here.)

When he realized his mistake, he said he was so dead. I said he had died-ed.

Then I returned to my work. It was time to do up the presentation. Surprisingly, it took only a while to draft up the first version (which was the final one too).
I looked at the time. 0730hrs.

Someone at the window scared me outta my guts! It was a vagrant asking for money. Told him politely to scram.

Time: 0745hrs. I was not asleep. I was still awake. No time to sleep in case I can't wake up for class later.

No dreams tonight...no worries, I'll be like a sleep walker for the rest of the day, and dream all that had to be dreamt.

My Bro's Big Fat Chinese Wedding

2008-10-21T16:24:00.005+08:00

Recently my elder brother got married. Well in fact, it was a week ago (11 Oct 2008) already.

It was a hectic day for me too, being his best man. Make it 2 days as my sister-in-law wanted the wedding to be held over 2 days. Relatives were invited for a wedding banquet on Sat, and friends and colleagues on Sun for a wedding brunch. The wedding was held in Hilton and I must say it was a dandy place to hold a wedding in. The function rooms are actually located on the top floor of the Hilton Hotel so we got a real fantastic view over Orchard Road.

A lot of photos were taken throughout the whole event. This is my favorite one of the newly wedded couple:

Eternal marital bliss Bro!

Narcoleptic Dog

2008-10-18T05:24:00.003+08:00

Even animals are not spared from narcolepsy.

Narcolepsy

2008-10-18T04:58:00.005+08:00

Narcolepsy is a neurological condition most characterized by Excessive Daytime Sleepiness (EDS), in which a person falls asleep during the day at inappropriate times, such as at work or school.
A narcoleptic will most probably experience disturbed nocturnal sleep, which is often confused with insomnia, and disorder of REM or rapid eye movement sleep.
A narcoleptic may also fall asleep at random.

Characteristics
The main characteristic of narcolepsy is excessive daytime sleepiness (EDS), even after adequate night time sleep.
A person with narcolepsy is likely to become drowsy or fall asleep, often at inappropriate times and places.
Daytime naps may occur without warning and may be physically irresistible.
These naps can occur several times a day.
They are typically refreshing, but only for a few hours.
Drowsiness may persist for prolonged periods of time.
In addition, night time sleep may be fragmented with frequent awakenings.

Sleep paralysis is the temporary inability to talk or move when waking (or less often, falling asleep).
It may last a few seconds to minutes.
This is often frightening but is not dangerous.
Hypnagogic hallucinations are vivid, often frightening, dreamlike experiences that occur while dozing, falling asleep and/or while awakening.
(I have had this experience several times, and it is indeed frightening. Sometimes, it makes mewonder if it's a medical condition, or some supernatural forces acting on me.)

In narcolepsy, the order and length of REM (Rapid Eye Movement) periods are disturbed, with REM sleep occurring at sleep onset instead of after a period of NREM sleep.
Thus, narcolepsy is a disorder in which REM sleep appears at an abnormal time.
Also, some of the aspects of REM sleep that normally occur only during sleep — lack of muscular control, sleep paralysis, and vivid dreams — occur at other times in people with narcolepsy.
For example, the lack of muscular control can occur during wakefulness in a cataplexy episode; it is said that there is intrusion of REM atonia during wakefulness.
Sleep paralysis and vivid dreams can occur while falling asleep or waking up.
Simply put, the brain does not pass through the normal stages of dozing and deep sleep but goes directly into (and out of) rapid eye movement (REM) sleep.

This has several consequences. Night time sleep does not include as much deep sleep, so the brain tries to "catch up" during the day, hence EDS.
People with narcolepsy may visibly fall asleep at unpredicted moments (such motions as head bobbing are common).
People with narcolepsy fall quickly into what appears to be very deep sleep, and they wake up suddenly and can be disoriented when they do (dizziness is a common occurrence).
They have very vivid dreams, which they often remember in great detail.
People with narcolepsy may dream even when they only fall asleep for a few seconds.
(So there my former 'dear' superiors in the 'Force', i wasn't lazy or what. It is my condition!)

Misconceptions
Narcolepsy is often mistaken for depression, epilepsy, or the side effects of medications.
It can also be mistaken for poor sleeping habits, recreational drug use, or laziness.
Narcolepsy can occur in both men and women at any age, although its symptoms are usually first noticed in teenagers or young adults.
(Hopefully, more people can get educated on this uncurable condition and spare a thought for us victims out there. It is really not easy trying to handle this condition with the constant misunderstanding, jokes and jibes, from the public. I always have to tell myself not to bother with these ignorant fools. Haiz)

(abstracted from Wikipedia)

Nightmare: Mutant Lizard's shot into the Mouth

2008-10-18T04:33:00.005+08:00

The guys and I found ourselves in a derelict construction yard. The moon was hanging high in the sapphire sky, outshining the myriad of stars sharing the space with Mr Moon. All was quiet except for the constant croaking of the bullfrogs and the chanting of the crickets, like a half-past-6 symphonic orchestra attempting its very best.

Everything in the near horizon were heaps of scrap metals and the occasional crane, with their necks poking out into the sky like robotic brontosaurus' peering out for their mates.
One of my mates lighted a cigarette and drawled nervously on the fag, exhaling a plume of smoke into the stagnant air. I turned to look at him to ask for a puff when I saw the saliva-drenched fag drop out from his quivering mouth. I spun around to look at the direction his widely opened eyes were staring at. To my horror...

A 6 foot tall, muscular mutant lizard loomed out of the darkness and grabbed one of my friends with its scaled hands. It was William who was the target! Before we could resist or offer any semblance of assistance, the Mutant Liz took hold of William's hand and placed them on what seemed to be a penis.
(At this moment, I do not know for sure if male lizards have the same reproduction genitalia like us humans, but what the heck?! It was a Mutant Liz anyway!)

Rapidly, William's hands were stroking the penis vigorously, like how a testosterone-charged teenage boy would masturbate when watching his first porn video, except that now, the boy was William, but the prick belonged to the Liz. Without warning, the lizard shot a load of whit sticky substance (u-know-what) into William's gaping mouth. Subsequently, William collapsed like a heap of potatoes onto the gravel-covered ground, apparently unable to withstand the load or shock during his close encounter with the Mutant Liz.

As the Mutant Liz seemed to be enjoying his premature release of joy, the guys managed to shake themselves out of their shock and started plummeting the disgusting creature with all their might.

I was using all strength I had and pulling no punches when the Mutant Liz's reptilian tail smacked me right in the face!

I opened my eyes...daybreak...I was awake.

Modus Operandi

2008-10-18T04:29:00.005+08:00

Intially, this blog was created for the purpose of recording the dreams that I have.

My dreams always seem to be extra vivid, with clear details and usually, albeit amazingly, come in colours.

However, it seems like I have not been very strict with myself in getting these dreams recorded.

Hence, I shall start the ball rolling by recording one of the first vivid dreams that i remember very clearly.

This dream seems to be the one dream that started the ball rolling, signalling an influx of creative and absurd dreams to appear in my crooked mind.

Hokkien-spewing Government Officials

2008-07-28T16:30:00.009+08:00

Recently, just last week in fact, i went to St James for a night's out with the boys. It was meant to be a fun night but it was all spoilt by endless sms-ing and a 'routine check' by the CID.

It all happened when the evergreen William Scorpion was singing and then the lights slowly came on. Royston said that the speaker system was defective and got chided by us for being dumb. Scorpion then affirmed our fears.

All of a sudden, this asshole came up to me while i was innocently sipping away on my green tea (i was driving that night) and flashed his smelly wallet with his warrant card at me.

He croaked,"CID. Kia, chuk ke! (CID, let's go out)." Well if it was a blonde bombshell i'll be flattered but it was a pre-PMS man. "Teng Ki gia lai. (give me your IC)"
"Sorry i do not understand what you are talking about," i replied nonchalantly. Of which he repeated that he needed my IC in English. Giving it to him, i told him not to lose it.

The whole saga carried on with us, my table of friends, and a lot more other female-companions-deprived guys herded out to the courtyard by the cops. And they treated us like we were guilty! WHAT happened to the innocent-until-proven-guilty judicial system we have in Singapore? The cops continued barking in Hokkien like their lives depended on it.

There was this particular bespectacled idiot with his backpack on like he was going to school who was the most irritating. He asked Alvin if he had been enlisted before before but it sounded like he was asking if Alvin had been working in a bank before. Lol.

"Aye, cho guey BANK bo?" asked ASS.
"Zhey gak cho bank si mi guan hey? (What has this gotta do with working in a bank)"asked Alvin.

There was this cop who was more polite. After i told him I am a civil servant he started to treat me better. I believed he treated me better when i told him i am a Commissioned Officer and the guys were my specialists. Should have told it straight to their face up front.

Why is it that when the govt is spending our taxpayers' money on promoting Speak Good English and Mandarin Campaign, our govt officials are using Hokkien as their main form of verbal communication? Don't give me the crap that they think all paikias speak Hokkien. They should have talked to me nicely first ok. I'm willing to cooperate but these cops treated us rudely.
In any case, night spoilt by idiots.

Well, it will be a different story if it was like this!

Good women are...

2008-03-10T14:08:00.007+08:00

I recently coined a phrase after hearing women constantly moan 'Good men are either married or gay.'

It sounds kinda extreme, but it may be true to a certain degree, as echoed by my friends after i tell them about it.

Here goes, "Good women are either dead, or have one leg in the coffin."

Before people start jumping at me for my throat, let me attempt to explain why I said that. I think of the women of old, especially my grandmother and my mum, a few aunties i know of, Margaret Thatcher and Queen Elizabeth II, when I say it. Maybe i should put it closer to home and just talk about my grandmother and mum.

My grandmother was an amazing woman. I have never hear her complaining about the numerous tasks that she has to undertake while looking after the family. The day starts early in the wee hours of the morning for my grandmother, as she will wake up earlier than my granddad and dad to prepare for their breakfast. As they are eating, she will prepare their stores before they leave for work. After they had left, my grandmother will prepare breakfast for her remaining 10 children. As they wake up one after the other, my granny will have to feed the young ones while telling off the older ones to behave at the dining table. As she sends them off one by one to school, my grandmother, with my youngest uncle in tow, will visit the market for grocery shopping.

I have never seen a woman stronger than my grandmother with my own eyes. She could hold two big plastic bags full of groceries on each of my finger and thumb while her little finger will hold a smaller one. I think of my girlfriend and I laugh…when she can’t even hold a laptop bag properly with her whole arm.

After retuning from the market, granny will go about cleaning up the whole house and preparing for lunch and dinner as the day goes by, slaughtering the chickens, ducks and sometimes crabs. She will also be busy washing the laundry, feeding the poultry and livestock and involving herself in some cottage industries to supplement the household income. She does not go to bed until it is midnight, having to tend to the children and her husband. Repeat 24/7. 365 days a year.

I salute her with both hands, forever endearing her and holding her in the highest regard.

The woman I will always love and love the most till the day I see her again in heaven.

My mum is also like my grandma. Being in a different era, my mum still epitomizes the spirit of the women of yesteryears. She juggles her work and housework admirably, and was always around to instill the high level of discipline in my brother and me, not compromising on her strictness, but compassionate and loving when needed to. She never wastes money on skincare products, excessively and ridiculously expensive and useless fashionwear and jewellery. She saves up for her own holiday and never expects my father to pay for anything that is for her own personal usage. She always believes that money should be hard-earned and one should not overspend, needless to say, credit is intolerable.

I always had high regards for the fairer sex, being brought up by two women who were like god to me. I always thought that women were amazing people, made of a different material than men, favoured by the gods. Until, I grew up and met women of the 21st Century. My, I have never been brought crashing down to Earth as hard as this before, to have a notion imbedded within me so totally demolished and overruled.

Elaborate? Let’s just say that I shan’t waste time on this for the moment. It’s time to go back to work now.

It relates somehow...

2006-10-02T16:32:00.004+08:00

Relationships...With people, animals, artifacts and even the world.

A balance of mutual respect, love, commitment and sacrifice. Feel free to add whatever you deem lacking.

Without even looking for it, I have people coming up to me telling me about their problems with the other half. And that is on top of all the issues I have with mine.

My ginger tomcat was jealous with another male kitten I brought back to the house temporarily. He showed his animosity through consistent hissing and even threaten to bite off my ear if I do not let if off onto the ground to confront the visitor. Oh hell! What's the jealously for? The kitten is not even mine...it belongs to my girlfriend, of which poses a different set of problems for me at times, and I can't even bother whether Timmy kills it or skins it alive.

*meow* I look down and sees the new visitor on my lap while writing this.

Two friends of mine have just broken off with their gals, or should I say the gals broke off with them, and another's relationship is on the rocks. Another buddy of mine, is hitting it off very well with someone who cannot decide whether to stay with his current or have a change of environment. That, in my case, does not warrant for worries of mine...my bro will have no problems handing that in my opinion. He's a veteran for god's sake.

I've decided to cut down on smoking for these few days. I believe there is no need for more tar and impurities in my lungs. A look at the sky will tell you why. The haze, if you're a frog in the well and only get a limited perspective of the sky and still can't figure out why, courtesy of the friendly people from Sumatra who decided to spice up the air with their brand of fragrance, Forest Fumes No.9. What is exactly their problem? My answer? Check it out in the so many publications and media report made so far by the environmentalists and quacks who are just dying to hear their voice through the TV.

Enuff said, it's time to go and bring my Korean wife to meet my Singaporean girlfriend for a meal at a Japanese restaurant.

On the way, I might once again decide to puff on Malaysian cigarettes while making way through the traffic jam, kaya and guyu.

In consideration of the Indonesian-produced haze.

Maiden Voyage

2006-09-13T17:53:00.002+08:00

well, this is my maiden voyage in blogging. or some say virgin.

i try not to coarse here as much as i can...but sometimes it's just my second nature to be crude.